Friday, June 12, 2009

Note to the mail "lady"

1) Delevry is not a word.  It is spelled d-e-l-i-v-e-r-y, which I would think you should know, given your line of work.

2) The "tree" in question is a hibiscus plant.  It's not currently blooming, so I'll give you an exemption for not being able to identify it from its leaves alone, but by no means does it look like a "tree."

3) It is not in your way. At all. And yes, I am going to cut it back, as requested by your stupid note, because otherwise you won't deliver my mail, and I'm not in the mood for that. But know that I am VERY underwhelmed with you.  Just as I was underwhelmed with you LAST summer for demanding that I trim this very same plant WHILE IT WAS BLOOMING.  You claimed the bees were going to "get you." Newsflash - bees will leave you alone if you leave them alone. I swear, I must not have taught your flailing around crazy self in second grade, because if I taught my students anything, it was to LEAVE BEES ALONE.  I digress.

4) You should be grateful that I am working on patience, because you almost got attacked by a crazy pregnant lady, had I not taken a deep breath and counted to 1293837423847438748.

The end.